"Living Better...For Less"
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In this issue:
Introduction
Tutor At Large
by Brenda Sparks
Housekeeping Tips, part 3
Speed Cleaning
by Judith C. Bettinger
Buy a New Freezer?
A Reader Question
by Gary Foreman
Ask Bob: The Automotive Answer Guy?
Advice from Mom
Tips, Quips, Quotes & Questions
IN FUTURE ISSUES:
pet tips
home improvement projects
your $5 per week ideas
Introduction
by Gary Foreman
gary@stretcher.com
http://www.stretcher.com
Hello fellow Frugalites!
Thanks for joining us this week. We begin with an article by Brenda Sparks telling you how to make some money as a tutor. Then Judy Bettinger describes how she uses speed cleaning to save time in her home. I answer a reader's question about energy efficiency on a new freezer. Bob answers reader's mail on autos. Mom has a little fun this week with some collected 'pearls of wisdom'. It had me laughing. (A no-no for editors!)
Got an interesting piece of mail the other day. A new subscriber mentioned that they have a 'tightwad club' at work where they trade ideas. Is that common? Do you have other people that encourage your frugal habits? If you have an interesting story along those lines please pass it along.
One correction. The correct phone number for Shop and Check is 800-669-6526. Sorry for any inconvenience!
There have been a number of people who have had trouble with the
length of the newsletter. Frankly, it's hard to get all the
good stuff in and stay under 30k bytes. A couple of possible
solutions could work. Some readers handle attachments of any
size. If you'd like to have the newsletter sent as an
attachment please let me know. The file is transmitted as a
.txt file so I believe that any word processor should be able to
read it. Another option would be to go to the web site and
either read or copy the newsletter to a file on your pc. Yes,
it means a visit to the web site, but there's stuff that I can't
get in the newsletters that does show up on the site.
(http://www.stretcher.com)
Hope you have a great frugal week!
All the Best!
Gary
Tutor At Large
by Brenda Sparks
rbsparks@flash.net
I thought someone might be interested in an account of how I started (and stopped) my home based tutoring business. I was in business two years.
When I quit teaching a few years ago I was disgusted at the amount of money I had spent on my education and materials for my job (literally thousands of dollars). I didn't want them to go to waste. I decided to tutor at home. At first I tutored for a friend's 'company', but got tired of making them money for nothing - they charged 15$ per hour, gave me ten and kept five, for no effort whatsoever. I decided that I could do better for myself. A word to the wise - do not go into business with friends. You will not be friends for long.
I was overwhelmed at the details of setting up a business, but somehow I made myself tackle one thing at a time. I called just about every small business information resource I could find and asked questions. I contacted the chamber of commerce. I got all sorts of free materials and read up on what I should do. I drove my husband up the wall asking him what he thought I should do. Finally, I took the plunge. Although taking that first step of actually going into business for myself was difficult, once it was done, it was easier in retrospect.
I decided that I didn't need to be incorporated, so and I registered for a tax id number and paid the 35$ registration fee for city zoning. As long as your neighbors and the zoning department have no objections to your business, that's all you have to do here in New Mexico. Businesses such as beauty shops have greater restrictions than services, so check into it. I would always recommend registering your business and paying taxes, even though you are paying that fee for no apparent benefit to you, and you pay higher taxes (gross receipts and a higher self employed income tax) it is better to follow the rules. The penalties of getting caught are greater.
Advertising was a challenge. I sent flyers and business cards to teachers and counselors. I advertised in the paper, which was NOT productive, and quite expensive, if you look at it over time. Finally, I put an ad in the yellow pages and used a 'piggy back' line to my home phone to handle the calls. It worked out wonderfully - people use the yellow pages the most and trust them more than a classified ad. My main clientele, however, came from referrals. Years later, I still get the occasional referral.
You cannot put an ad in the yellow pages on your home phone line, which is unfortunate because it is this extra line that costs so much. My piggy back line had an unfortunate drawback of costing a dime per call, and I would say that half the calls I was charged for were wrong numbers. I called the phone company about this, but unless you can document that it is a recurring wrong phone number, too bad, these things happen. I also went a little overboard on my ads - putting myself in 3 different places, but I initially stuck to simple line ads, so that helped keep costs down. When I went out of business I didn't realize that I could just cut off my service and NOT BE CHARGED after that, so I ignorantly and unnecessarily paid for two months of service. Live and learn. I would like to add here that my long distance representative for the yellow pages was actually an invaluable source of advice for me. You can find support in the strangest places.
I kept track of income and expenses on a ledger and hired an inexpensive tax preparer on good recommendation (she charged $35 for our household taxes and my business) and had I had the self discipline to not buy so many nifty home office gadgets and cool new teaching supplies, I think I would have turned a greater profit. As it was, my business got up to about 20 students per week at one point, which was very good - almost $20,000 a year, had it lasted beyond the summer. I charged variable rates - I had started out at ten dollars an hour and ended up at fifteen and charged people anywhere in between. People sometimes think that charging more means better quality. This was the case with tutoring. I constantly had to check and make sure that my pricing was fair and competitive, as well as leaving the impression that I was worth it. Tricky.
Eventually having children, their parents, their siblings, and adult students come into my home became an invasion, and it bothered my husband a great deal. Without his support, I decided to quit tutoring when I became pregnant with our first child. I actually still have one adult student who just will not quit, but I am not actively seeking others. I would prefer to rent a small office if I were to try tutoring again.
One thing to always remember is customer appreciation - I sent notes thanking prospective clients for their interest. I sent pencils and stickers to teachers who referred my services. And I always sent correspondence to clients, thanking them for their patronage. I realized that I actually enjoyed the marketing end of tutoring - the newsletters, the thank you's, the yearly barbecue, far more than the nuts and bolts of trying to teach someone. I am hoping to start another home business which will draw more on this aspect of my personality, but I cannot think of one that I can do at the same time as raising my 14 month old and preparing for another child in July.
When you start your home business, just remember to keep the home part separate somehow from the business, whether by setting aside a certain time, or a certain space. And beware that you will have to be incredibly flexible. The public is very demanding - and so are families. Also, beware that you don't get into the 'business of being in business' like I did, which will leave you no profits! I have to say that I enjoyed it greatly and don't regret it a bit. I have confidence now that I can do anything I set my mind to.
Brenda contributes to the Dollar Stretcher on a regular basis. She brings a unique sense of humor and lots of common sense to advice.
Housekeeping Tips, part 3
Speed Cleaning
by Judith C. Bettinger
jbettin@uswest.com
In my first article, I talked about some of the general principles I use to keep the housework under control. The second article covered the method I use to keep the bathrooms consistently clean. Now, I'll talk about the method I use to keep the rest of the house clean. This won't include specifics about cleaning the kitchen - I'll cover that in the future. One of the best things I learned from the Don Aslett books was the importance of good entry mats. They really do save an amazing amount of work. We have a deep, covered front porch, so I have a 6x4-foot mat on the porch itself, and a smaller mat inside the house. These are the same kind of mats that hotels use - they have some kind of acrylic fuzz on one side and a vinyl or rubber backing. I found mine at a janitorial supply, but have also seen some smaller ones at Price Costco. It's important that the mats be as many "steps" long as possible because the further you walk on the mat, the less dirt you'll track into the house.
As I mentioned before, as soon as I found ways to keep the house free of clutter, the cleaning became 10 times easier. I've found that doing a daily "pick-up" is the best investment of time I can make. So, let's assume that I'm starting with a house that's basically tidy. My method is adapted from techniques I learned in a "Speedcleaning" class I took, along with some techniques I learned in the Don Aslett books.
Here's my equipment list:
- a 12-pocket canvas carpenter's apron, available at Hugh M. Woods
Into the pockets of that go:
- an old toothbrush for detail work
- a razor blade scraper
- a spray bottle of glass cleaner (I just use vinegar and water)
- a spray bottle of general-purpose cleaner (I use Now or 409)
- two white cotton terry cleaning cloths, one for glass, one
for the general-purpose cleaner
- a small feather or wool duster. I like the real ostrich-
feather dusters because they're soft, well-made, and last a
long time.
They'll also stand up to a rinsing with warm water after every time I clean.
The bottles of liquid just hook onto the loops that are on the apron. OK, so this looks a little goofy - my family's used to it!
Our house is two floors, so I do the second floor completely, then take everything downstairs. I load up the carpenter's apron, and also carry up with me:
- the vacuum cleaner, including the add-on hose and upholstery
brush
- a dust mop with an extendible handle
I like to wear cotton gardening gloves, in case I encounter anything really ooky. This was suggested in the class I took, and at first it felt a little funny, but now I wouldn't be without 'em.
Before I vacuum, I "prep clean" the floor I'm on. In each room, I use the dust mop to go around the room once to remove dust from all the high places in the room. This includes cobwebs that might be forming in corners, tops of curtain valances, and tops of door and window moldings. I start at the door, go around the room, then leave the dust mop at the door where I started. The key to this part is to frequently bang the dust mop on the floor to knock the dust out. Then, I can pick the dust up with the vacuum cleaner.
Next, I do the detail work, moving around the room in a circle and working from top to bottom. I do all of the following as I go:
- dust, using the feather or wool duster. Technique is really
important here, too - I _wipe_ the dust, then tap the duster
against my foot to shake the dust onto the floor. I try to be
really thorough: paneled doors, picture frames, and lamps get
dusty too. When I get to a window, I shut the mini-blinds, dust
them, open them and reclose the opposite way, then dust the
other side.
- using glass cleaner, I spritz any glass - this includes glass
on pictures, mirrors, and finger prints on the inside of the
windows.
- using the general-purpose cleaner, I wipe up finger marks on
the woodwork, crayon marks, etc. The detail brush and scraper
are good for dislodging anything that's stuck in cracks or
ridges.
The trick here is to stay on track, and the apron is what makes that possible because I've got everything I need with me. If I find little odds and ends that belong someplace else, I put them into one of the apron pockets. If I'm really thorough, there's not much work to do because at worst there's only a week's worth of dirt built up. I do detail work in all the rooms, including the bathroom - since the fixtures are basically clean, all that needs doing on cleaning day is to clean the mirrors and dust the cabinets and blinds.
When the detail work is done, I take the clunky stuff out of the apron and take care of the floors. Our house has hardwood floors with area rugs, so this is a two-step process. I put the tube extender on the vacuum cleaner first and vacuum the bare part of the floors. If they need it, I'll use the upholstery brush to clean the baseboards and vacuum any upholstered furniture - the upholstery brush fits nicely into the apron, so I can switch "on the fly" very easily. I'm careful to vacuum under the beds and dressers every week so that I don't get major dust bunnies. When the wood is done, I take off the tube and vacuum the rugs. Downstairs, this includes the entry mats, both inside and out.
I damp mop the bathroom floors after I've cleaned everything else, having vacuumed them when I did the other bare floors. Once a month, I damp mop the wood floors with vinegar and water. Our kitchen floor is covered with The World's Ghastliest Carpet, so I can't mop it. If we had a normal kitchen floor, I'd vacuum it at the same time I did the hardwood floors, then damp mop in the same round with the bathrooms.
After I'm finished, I rinse out my duster and put the rags and the head from the dust mop into the laundry hamper. It's essential to keep the dusters clean, because otherwise they will deposit more dust than they pick up.
That's it! As I said in the first article, our house is a four- bedroom, 1 3/4-bath house, with 2200 square feet. That's a lot of house, but it still only takes me about two hours to do this whole routine because by doing the work frequently, things never have a chance to get really awful. Saves the weekend for more time with my family!
Judy has provided a series of housecleaning tips. Her articles run each month. She features a 'common-sense' approach to getting the job done.
Buy a New Freezer?
A Reader Question
by Gary Foreman
gary@stretcher.com
Gary,
I have a large chest freezer that has to be about 30 years old.
I am considering replacing it with a newer, smaller upright
one. Do you have an idea of the electricity efficiency gains a
new model would have over an old one? It's got to be
significant enough to pay for itself pretty soon, especially
when you factor in the sale of the old freezer.
--Rex
Rex asks a good question. How much more efficient is a new freezer and how long would it take to pay for itself. To answer those questions we did a little research and came up with some information from the Wisconsin Energy Bureau.
First, let's look at how much electricity it takes to run a freezer. In part the answer depends on how big the freezer is and whether it's manual or automatic defrost. A manual defrost 14.8 cubic foot chest freezer can have an annual cost to operate of $36. By comparison, a 15.7 cubic foot automatic defrost upright freezer will cost about $66 per year to run. Generally speaking, chest freezers are more efficient that uprights.
How does that compare to a 20 or 30 year old model? According to the Wisconsin Energy Bureau a new model uses slightly more than one third of the energy of the older models. So you could be spending $120 to $180 per year to operate your old freezer. So your savings would be in the range of $70 to $115 per year.
The newer models are more energy efficient for a number of reasons. They use more efficient compressors, better insulation, door seals and have eliminated anti-sweat devices.
Now, let's compare our savings to the cost of a new unit. You'll probably pay between $300 and $700 for a new freezer depending on the size, options and how good a sale you find. So depending on your savings, the freezer should pay for itself somewhere between three and ten years.
Another way to look at it is in the total cost of ownership for the life of the product. If your old freezer costs say $150 per year to operate you'll spend $3,000 in electricity over it's expected 20 year lifespan. A more energy efficient model that costs $50 per year to operate will only use $1,000 in electricity over it's life. That's a savings of $2,000.
There are three other things that you should consider. With an older freezer you run the risk of a breakdown. That means that your investment of frozen food will be jeopardized. With today's food prices, it's not hard to have a few hundred dollars tucked away in that freezer. If you've prepared meals in advance you could also lose the time it took to make those meals. An old freezer that fails could be a very expensive experience.
Another issue to consider if you wait for the old freezer to give out is that you'll be giving up any shopping advantage you might have. You won't have time to compare which manufacturers have the most efficient and trouble free units. You might not have time to compare prices at different stores. You'll be limited to those models that the dealer has in stock now. All in all, you could end up getting a freezer that you don't really want and paying $75 or $100 more than you should for the privilege.
Finally, as Rex points out, you should be able to sell the old freezer for a few dollars. Who knows, maybe you can make enough to put a few extra roasts in that new freezer!
If you're like Rex and have a 25 or 30 year old freezer it's time to start thinking about a new one. Take your time. Shop around! And when you find the right one you'll be protecting your investment in frozen food and lowering your electric bill for years to come.
Gary Foreman writes the Dollar Stretcher column. If you have a question or comment for him write to: The Dollar Stretcher, 949 E. Cypress Creek Rd., suite 101, Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33334 or email him at: gary@stretcher.com.
Ask Bob: The Automotive Answer Guy?
30,000 Mile Service
by Bob DeP
Dear Bob
I have a question regarding regular maintenance. It's time to
have the 30,000 service done to my 93 Pontiac Grand Am. What
exactly is done for this service and how much is a reasonable
price? I'm probably not going to take it to the dealer to have
this done.
Thanks Much!
Peaches F
Dear Peaches,
Since I am NOT a certified GM mechanic, I can not say for
sure what needs to be done for your 30k service. Generally it
is the first major service that a car gets. Everything should
get looked over, engine, brakes, trans... possibly even a
tune up... might run you around $400. Now, since this is the
first major for the car, you might want to reconsider not
taking it to the dealer. Look in your owners manual, and it
will tell you exactly what to expect.
Dear Ruth,
STOP!!! YOU HAVE A MAJOR PROBLEM!!! The timing belt
should last for approx 60k miles NOT SIX MONTHS. You might be
having an oil leak on the belt and that is why it is breaking!
Call your service manager and have him find out why you needed
2 in a year. If you get nowhere, call the regional rep.
Dear Tonya,
First about your brakes, is this the first new car that
you've owned? The reason that I ask, is that new cars are made
with a semi-metallic brake pad. This will make a bit of a
squeak and is perfectly okay. Now about your next problem
about the steering wheel shaking at highway speeds, get your
tires BALANCED!!! Now the combination of these 2 problems
alone might not mean anything, but the 2 together could mean
something else. Get the tires balanced and get back to me.
From there, we'll discuss it further.
Dear Jennifer with the 92 Taurus,
I received this mail the other day, and I thought that I should
pass it along. Now let me explain, not all cars have timing
belts. Some have chains. Chains last much longer, but are a
little noisy.... i was unaware that a chain was installed in
modern v6 and i4's. I would also like to thank Ken for setting
the record straight.
Dear Bob,
I am writing to you about Jennifer's 92 Taurus 3.8. the 3.8 has
a timing chain and should last 150000 miles. I am a mechanic and
have worked for Ford Motor Co. for 23 years.
thanks
Ken
Good Luck!
Drive Safely!
Bob DeP
The Auto Answer Guy?
Bob answers your auto questions. If you have a question for Bob just sent it to him though The Dollar Stretcher (gary@stretcher.com) please put "Ask Bob" in the subject header.
-- Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
Have a good day!
Rae is the mother of nine (and grandmother of two) in central
Nebraska. She says her house runs smoothly due to "organized
chaos, and lots of lists! Anyone wishing to drop her a line
is welcome to at rae@kdsi.net
TIPS, QUIPS, QUOTES AND QUESTIONS
*********
I've been getting email from businesses who sell the refills for
ink jet cartridges. I know my printer manufacturer doesn't like
this idea, but it sure sounds economical. Anyone have any
experience with these refills? Do they work as well as the high-
priced original? I don't want to destroy my printer in the
process of saving money on the ink.
My SO wears a size small, and they are impossible to find in
stores and catalogs. He also buys pants in 30 waist, another
impossible to find size. There is a man's catalog for short
sizes, but the clothing is rather, well, :P Polyester Heaven.
Does anyone have any good leads on places to buy smaller men's
clothing? He won't shop the kids' departments, the clothing is
not as well made, and more on the juvenile side (he's 53).
Coming up with a win-win situation is the most productive. Find
out something big your unfrugal spouse really wants. Then set
aside some of the saved money for that purpose. Set a specific
time period you will save for it. Then a trade off for not
ordering in or not buying something, or even returning
something that was bought on a credit card without thinking it
thru will put money into this savings account.
Sometimes, money is a power struggle. It needs to be removed
from this to be productive.
Some people will never change and you have to decide if you can
live like that or if you are too far apart in lifestyle and
views.
When we decided to have a family, we also decided to buy a
bigger house, and then we dropped to one income. This meant a
large dose of thrift for us both. This took a little longer for
my wife to adjust to, as she does most of the shopping for us. I
admit to 'reminding' her too often that we must stop spending
the way we had, and she 'reminded' me that we still had to eat!
Finally, we sat down and drew up a budget that we both saw as
reasonable, covering all areas in categories such as light &
power, and home cooking v. take-away food. This took a few
months to fine tune, but now it is fairly right for the whole
family.
Also, we make it a sport to never pay full price for anything.
This may take the form of buying at sales, or asking the
salesman to 'sweeten the deal'. We also set goals for items to
save for. It is _very_ satisfying to buy an item (on sale of
course) after having saved enough money by repeatedly winning
the savings game.
I'm no relationships counselor, but these little steps have made
our single income lives a lot happier!
You cannot change your spouse. You will either divorce or die
trying! If you can get the August back issue of Simple Living:
The Journal of Voluntary Simplicity, they cover this problem in
that journal. One of the suggestions made was to divide bank
accounts and each member contribute X dollars to the household
expenses and the rest was saved (or spent!) as the individual
desired.
Have I got a tip for you!! Instead of calling the repairman
out to fix one of your household appliances, a lot of repairs
can be done yourself, with the help of a Service Technician on
the other end of the phone line. You dial Sears at this
number: 1-800-927-7957, and for $12.00 (I think) the technician
has all the manuals he needs and talks you through the repair,
one step at a time. They give a money-back guarantee if the
repair is too big or doesn't work for you. You can hang up the
phone and call back as many times as you need to for the next 30
days on the same repair. They take all major credit cards or
they can charge the 12.00 to you home phone with a 1-900 number.
They're open 7 AM to 7PM, Central time.
Just trying to help.
I have friend that makes extra income by recognizing brand name
items at rummage sales and then taking these items to a
consignment shop. Due to the nature of business, there is
always a profit margin to be made by all. There is a system to
knowing what is salable and in season or popular. One could
also take the time to take your own items to the resale shop and
pick-up a check without the hassle of rummaging.
Throughout the past few years while I have been in grad school,
I have been able to supplement my income by doing clerical
support work for individuals. Living in a college town, I am
always running into people who need help with business letter-
writing, transcription (typing from an audio tape recording),
editing and other types of clerical work. Many of these people
are too busy to do their own "grunt" work, or they don't have
the necessary typing or computer skills. Others are
international students who need a native English speaker to
help them with editing their papers, theses or their business
letters. People used to make a lot of money typing papers
before computers came on the scene, and even though most
students and professors can now type their own work, they still
may need help with other computer and clerical tasks. Other
people may need their old typed papers entered electronically,
either by scanning or typing.
All you need is a computer (or access to one), access to a
transcribing machine (these are very expensive to purchase, but
universities and other places can rent them for reasonable
rates), basic word processing skills, and good writing skills
or a knowledge of basic grammar. Those of you with good
budgeting and book-keeping software skills can also help the
"budget-impaired". Every quarter, I enter receipts into Quicken
for a local self-employed musician for his quarterly tax
report. International students may also need help with their
writing, proofreading, resume and cover-letter writing.
I have found all of my jobs through word-of-mouth, so I have no
real advice for marketing oneself. However, I would suggest
placing classified ads in the city paper or university paper,
posting flyers around town or on campus, posting notices in
church newsletters, notifying university secretaries of your
services, etc. I have a regular job in an academic department
and our grad students are always asking for help with
transcribing or help proofreading their English, and we're
always glad when someone comes forward with the skills to help
them out.
If you have specialized skills such as data entry or analysis,
public relations experience, desk-top publishing or design, you
can get a lot of work helping out university professors,
musicians, businesses, etc., as a free-lancer or independent
contractor.
Pay scales vary, depending on your location, skills and demand.
My hourly rates have risen from $6 to $9 over the past few
years, and I'm thinking of charging up to $10. I'm in a
midwestern college town, but I'd imagine that those living in a
larger city could demand more. If people aren't willing to
pay, you can consider lowering your rate, just to ensure some
sort of income. Remember that many of these people can't
afford to pay much, especially students. Keep tax laws in
mind. If you make more than $600 for any one group or
individual, you must pay self-employment taxes. Many people do
this "under the table", but it's best to keep your nose clean
and declare all of your income. If you make a lot of money,
you need to consider paying self-employment taxes quarterly.
It may take a while to get started, but once people find out
that you offer these much-needed services, your part time work
may just end up being a full-time job!
In the November 11th edition of DS, Rae Osenbaugh gave a list of
books to help get organized. I'd like to add "The Complete
Idiot's Guide to Organizing Your Life" by Georgene Lockwood. It
has all the relevant information in a very readable format.
Another comment on balancing your bank statement: I recently
went to a job related conference and sat through a session on
frauds. Apparently, the most popular fraud is check fraud and
there are some relatively easy ways to do it (which I won't go
into). But the consumer - you and me - could be liable for
fraud on their account if they do not reconcile their bank
statements within the required period - which is a certain
amount of days after the statement is received and are sent by
the bank. Do not put off reconciling your statements and call
if you notice something that just does not look right.
< center>
*********
My best piece of advice concerning scholarships is that they
should be worked on beginning as early as the 8th grade!! It may
surprise you to know that some scholarships are offered from as
early as the 8th grade and these can be applied for annually
from the 8th to the 12th grades. Moreover, the most generous
scholarships, such as the Westinghouse and Seiko scholarships,
involve projects which should be started long before one's
senior year!!!
--A
Hi Gary, I love your newsletter and wanted to offer a suggestion
that has helped save our family money. When we are planning a
vacation I call the Department of Travel and Tourism or Chamber
of Commerce for the area. I have received some nice books and
brochures with coupons for hotels and area business. My two
young sons are interested in basketball and this fall we visited
the Basketball Hall of Fame. By calling in advance we received
half price admission and even half price coupons for the gift
shop.
All the Best!
Gary Foreman
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Write to the Dollar Stretcher at:
-- Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?
-- For people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord.
-- I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.
-- Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
-- Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
-- There cannot be a crisis today; my schedule is already full.
-- Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
-- A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of
thinking.
-- I don't have a solution but I admire the problem.
-- Don't be so open-minded your brains fall out.
-- Diplomacy - the art of letting someone have your way.
-- It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere.
-- Budget: A method for going broke methodically.
-- Car service: If it ain't broke, we'll break it.
-- Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.
-- COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key
-- Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
-- Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.
-- My software never has bugs. It just develops random
features.
-- C:\WINDOWS C:\WINDOWS\GO C:\PC\CRAWL
-- C:\DOS C:\DOS\RUN RUN\DOS\RUN
-- The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones
in.
-- BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go!
-- Access denied--nah nah na nah nah!
-- C:\ Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.
-- As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
-- ... File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
-- A computer's attention span is as long as it's power cord.
-- Disinformation is not as good as datinformation.
-- Windows: Just another pane in the glass.
-- SENILE.COM found . . . Out Of Memory . . .
-- All computers wait at the same speed.
-- DEFINITION: Computer - A device designed to speed and
automate errors.
-- Press to continue ...
-- Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.....
-- Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue...
-- E-mail returned to sender -- insufficient voltage.
-- Help! I'm modeming... and I can't hang up!!!
-- Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.
-- DOS Tip #17: Add DEVICE=FNGRCROS.SYS to CONFIG.SYS
-- Hidden DOS secret: add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS
-- Press any key... no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE!
-- Press any key to continue or any other key to quit...
-- Read my chips: No new upgrades!
-- Hit any user to continue.
-- I hit the CTRL key but I'm still not in control!
-- Will the information superhighway have any rest stops?
-- Disk Full - Press F1 to belch.
-- Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (T)hrowup
-- Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic
-- (A)bort, (R)etry, (T)ake down entire network?
-- If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then
programming must be the process of putting them in.
-- Programmer - A red-eyed, mumbling mammal capable of
conversing with inanimate objects.
-- Real programmers don't document. If it was hard to write, it
should be hard to understand.
-- 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
-- Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.
-- ...Every morning is the dawn of a new error...
-- A flying saucer results when a nudist spills his coffee.
-- I can see clearly now, the brain is gone...
-- Mental Floss prevents Moral Decay.
-- If at first you DO succeed, try not to look astonished!
-- If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown
too?
-- Don't look back, they might be gaining on you.
-- Help Wanted: Telepath. You know where to apply.
-- Look out for #1. Don't step in #2 either.
-- Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.
-- <-------- The information went data way -------->
-- E Pluribus Modem
-- Does fuzzy logic tickle?
-- 11th commandment - Covet not thy neighbor's Pentium.
-- Ultimate office automation: networked coffee.
-- RAM disk is *not* an installation procedure.
Rae
Can You Help This Reader?
*********
Inkjet Refills?
--Pats
Can You Help This Reader?
*********
Smaller Sizes for Men?
Thanks!
EM
Can You Help This Reader?
Answers
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Un-Frugal Spouse
--Peggy
Rewards and the Savings Game
D.
Divide the Expenses
Sherri in N.C.
Help for the Do-It-Yourselfer
--Kit L
Making Money:
From Garage Sale to Consignment Shop
JFG
Extra Income
Beth
Book Recommendation
ruth
Another Reason to Balance
Your Checkbook
Kelley in Memphis
Scholarship Advice
Travel Tip
--NH
"The Dollar Stretcher"
gary@stretcher.com
http://www.stretcher.com/dollar
I Would like to:
return Home
Dollar Stretcher
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