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Like many families, my family is being squeezed. My husband has determined that the girls (ages 12, 9 & 4) will only get one small gift this year. My question is how can I make this Christmas special for my kids despite the very limited resources?
C.
To make this Christmas more memorable for your children, purchase small children's toys (crayons, coloring books, etc.) at a dollar store and visit a children's shelter or a battered women's shelter where there are children. Just spending time with children who are living in shelters will surely make your children realize how blessed and rich they really are.
CM
We always try to keep the focus off of the gifts at Christmas time. However, no matter how little we give, it seems that the children have more than they need by the end of the day. One of their favorite things that they have been talking about already is our "Christmas Campout" where the whole family sleeps in the living room around the lit Christmas tree. We watch videos and eat some of the special Christmas treats we have made. It is a special time together.
Denise
My favorite gift when I was a child was the play kitchen my mother made me for Christmas one year. It was made of scrap plywood. It was just shelves with "elecric burners" painted on the middle shelf. I loved it. And at 45 years old, I don't even remember all the fancy store bought gifts. Instead, I only remember the little homemade play kitchen.
Use your imagination. I can think of a few things to make. My son and my mother are currently making a village out of plastic ice cream and margarine containers. A lady I knew painted a cardboard box and lid with pretty colors and decorated it. Inside she put old clothes, shoes, and accessories for a dress-up "trunk." Felt squares are very cheap at the craft store and can be made into felt sets and covering a sturdy piece of cardboard with felt or flannel makes a great felt board to use the felt sets on. Books make great gifts and can be purchased relatively cheaply at dollar stores or thrift shops. A manicure kit could be made cheaply by buying a plastic organizer and filling it with emery boards, orange stick, cheap nail polish, etc.
Remember that the gifts you make for your girls, the ones that have more imagination than money put into them, may be the gift they remember all their lives.
Ann L. in Newburgh, IN
To help you to make your daughters' Christmas special without spending a lot of money, why not make them a coupon book each? The coupons could be for making cookies with Mom or picking out the dinner menu. Use things that are special times for just them.
JP
This year, we are going to have a Little House on the Prairie Christmas. I have checked out books in the Little House series from the library and learned about ways that the Ingalls family celebrated Christmas. So far, I have made Christmas stockings from scraps and will fill them with small items like Laura and Mary Ingalls received (delivered via Mr. Edwards who walked a long distance in terrible weather to be Santa's messenger). There will be sugar cookies wrapped in paper and ribbon, a tin cup with a penny and a new pencil, and probably an item or two from the dollar store. I am saving all my change in a jar and hoping to find a couple of last minute bargains. Our neighbors will be remembered with a frugal homemade treat. On Christmas Eve, we will attend services in our old church that is always decorated for the season. Our house will be spruced up as best we can with things we already have or find for free. Christmas dinner will be roasted chicken, mashed potatoes, etc. and a chocolate dessert. So far, this has really been fun! It's probably going to be our best Christmas!
Iris
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In Toni Morrison's The Bluest Eye, the narrator complains that "nobody ever asked me what I wanted for Christmas. Had any adult with the power to fulfill my desires taken me seriously and asked what I wanted, they would have known that I did not want to have anything to own, or to possess any object. I wanted rather to feel something on Christmas day. The real question would have been, 'Dear Claudia, what experience would you like on Christmas?' I could have spoken up, 'I want to sit on the low stool in Big Mama's kitchen with my lap full of lilacs and listen to Big Papa play his violin for me alone.' The lowness of the stool made for my body, the security and warmth of Big Mama's kitchen, the smell of the lilacs, the sound of the music, and, since it would be good to have all of my senses engaged, the taste of a peach, perhaps, afterward."
The point Morrison makes so powerfully here is that the happiest memories of the holidays often have nothing to do with presents. Indeed, when celebrating Christmas with my in-laws, I have sometimes felt a sense of emptiness when the present-giving is over, because it seems as if that's all there is to the holiday, a frenzy of tearing wrapping paper, with no particular feelings or traditions associated with it. If Christmas is a religious holiday for you, you can focus on the spiritual significance of the occasion. If not, you can still make it a special experience for your daughters by singing carols, playing games, baking cookies, or reading aloud from a Christmas story, such as Dickens' A Christmas Carol.
Incidentally, you will note that in this story, there are almost no references to Christmas presents; in the homes Scrooge visits with the Ghosts of Christmas Past and Present, people are celebrating the day by gathering the whole family together, eating a special meal, having a dance, or playing Blind-Man's-Bluff. Adding experiences like these to your Christmas, making it a day for family togetherness, can make the holiday a beautiful memory that will last long after new toys have been forgotten.
Amy
My oldest daughter had a blast having to read clues and hunt for the next clue to find her gift. I made up about six clues that made her race around the house and end in the living room where the family was to find her gift. On a couple of the clues, there were small gifts like her favorite candy bar, a pack of gum, a book, etc.
If the gift has multiple pieces, wrap them individually. Kids get the enjoyment from the unwrapping. Give coupons good for the future like their choice of a movie rental, their choice of dinner, stay up an extra hour, skip chores for a day, etc.
Roberta
I, too, am "stretched" by medical bills and layoffs this holiday season, so I joined a local Freecycle™ group and am giving away items I no longer use and getting some very good used and sometimes new items to give as gifts. People with children often have things that their kids outgrew or simply haven't used. It's free, and it reduces waste. People help people every day!
G
Focus your holiday season on family activities and not simply on family gifts. Each year, I ask my children what one activity they want to be sure we do not miss during the holiday season. Most often, they'll choose something that builds memories and not something that "breaks the bank." Things like making gingerbread houses with friends or visiting the giant Christmas tree downtown have become part of our holiday tradition as a result.
Glenda in Chicago
We have had somewhat similar situations with the gifts and lack of money. One of the most memorable Christmases that we all remember was the year we had a "virtual" holiday. We went to the mall the day before Christmas. Each of us had a notebook and pen. We scattered once we got there (with smaller kids, divide them up between parents and older siblings). And then we began looking for the gift we would like to buy each person in the family. Money was no object. When we found the perfect gift for someone, we jotted down the store and location. We all met at a prearranged location and time, and then began the fun. As a family, we began going around the mall and showing what we "bought." I'll never forget the son who "bought" me a massage chair. The real cost was over $5000, but that didn't matter. What mattered is that he knew my bad back would love it. So he proudly showed me the chair that he had selected for me. When all family members had had their turn, then we went to the mall food court and had an inexpensive meal together. We rarely ever ate fast food, so that was a treat, too. On Christmas Day, we gave each other one gift each (real gifts this time!), but our rule was that each gift had to cost under $1. It was the best Christmas ever, and the family still talks about how fun and unique it was.
Diana
This year, in lieu of presents, my sister-in-law came up with a brilliant idea, getting together for a special family event. We did some digging and discovered that the children's theatre in our city will be showing the Grinch this year. There are many showings, but on one evening, the tickets sell for $1 each and you can purchase six! What a great opportunity for our families! We plan to make a night out of it, as well as a tradition from here on out. Check your local theatre houses to see if there is something similar available to you. Also check your libraries as they often have special deals for these things. If that doesn't pan out, check the Internet, local restaurants, etc. There are also movie theatres that sometimes have a special night where kids get in free for a specific movie, so call around.
Another idea would be to only have stockings for Christmas morning. Then the day after Christmas, take your kids to a shopping area and give them the money you would have spent on their gifts. The money will go much farther after Christmas and you can have a day together at the mall. Pack a lunch or stop at the food court for a snack (bring your own drinks). Explain beforehand that their present this year is a shopping event the day after Christmas. This will give them something to look forward to and they'll know what to expect Christmas morning. There is no shame in explaining why you are doing it this way. The amount they get won't be as important as the fact that they get to decide how to spend it.
For stocking stuffers, purchase coupons for fast food restaurants. Also, magazine subscriptions could be a good thing, especially for your 12 year old. Google "magazine compare price," and in some cases, you can get a year's subscription for less than $3. Other stocking stuffers could be hair accessories from the dollar store or lip gloss. If your grocery store has fruit of the month club for kids and you are not members, sign up all three of them and then get December's fruit and put in the bottom of the stocking, along with the card. Also trading cards make good stocking stuffers. Be creative and try to make it a goal to spend $5 each on stockings. You'd be amazed what can be done.
It may take a little work and time, but you can make Christmas a special time for your family without breaking the bank, and believe me, the day will come when your girls appreciate all the effort you made.
Heather
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