You need to break up with your money. I don't mean stop spending or attempt to live an extreme life where money isn't necessary. But during a recession, re-evaluating your relationship with money is crucial.
The first step is to realize the areas in your relationship where money has "intruded" to create what I call a triangle. Here are some possible triangles, which I talk about in my book Financial Infidelity and how you can break up these patterns!
Like I said above, I'm not suggesting to attempt to put money in an unrealistic place in your life, but denying the role money plays, in both your personal life and in your relationships, can have a toxic affect on those relationships. The type of behaviors mentioned negatively influences your relationship with your partner. You may not think of it as cheating, but if you continue in this type of lop-sided relationship, it will take a toll. Attachment to your money can often ruin chances for you and your partner to build an intimate relationship.
Learning to prioritize the role of money in your relationship is an important step toward a healthy dynamic between your, your partner, and your money. In my book, Financial Infidelity, I discuss several exercises that are a good way to do this. Here is one such exercise:
Withdrawals and Deposits:
Day 1: Pretend you have suddenly been forced into bankruptcy. You are poor and have nothing, no money, no investments. Take your negative fantasies into the extreme and imagine yourself selling everything you have, being free of all your material goods.
Day 2: Visualize yourself with plenty of money and all that entails. You are comfortable and able to do the things that are truly important to you.
Day 3: Forever after, be consciously grateful. Each day, count the things you are grateful for.
Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil has been an internationally acclaimed relationship therapist for thirty years. New York magazine named her one of the city's top therapists. Her most recent book, Financial Infidelity (now available in paper back) is available on Amazon, as is Make up, Don't Breakup, where she gives couples important tools for making their relationship work through various circumstances. You can also find her and her books on Facebook.
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