Reader's Tips

I too have an 8 year old boy and an 11 year old girl. I try to buy most of their clothing at yard sales, church rummage sales and thrift shops. I have found great deals at two places that are throughout most of the US and have similar counterparts that are as well. America's Thrift Stores and Goodwill Stores are HUGE multi-department stores that are usually warehouse feeling inside, but sell donated clothes, shoes, books, toys, furniture, appliances, etc. They have every size. I got my son a church jacket for $4.88, a winter jacket (nearly new) for $6.48, a dress for myself for $2.88, some great hardcover books, a bed frame/headboard and footboard for a queen size bed for $15, jumpers, shirts, dresses and jeans for my girls from $1.48- $4.88. The prices are great! Now the selection is typical. With four children and I can always find something for someone, but not always just what I need. I go there about once a month.
--Loren in GA

Boys will be boys! Whoever coined that phrase knew what they were talking about. Boys usually wear out their clothes before they outgrow them. I have found that the only way to find "good" used clothes for boys is to shop often. Even in regular stores. Stop in often and look for their clearance sales or buy one get one free. Oct. and Nov. seem to be a good time for this, as "start of school" sales are over. Then again in Jan. when Christmas sales end and inventories are well on their way. Making it known at thrift stores that you have several children is often a door to hand-me-downs. Some thrift stores are overloaded with clothes and weekly weed out clothes for the garbage man. Ask if you could dispose of them for them, then pick out what you can use and either pass them on or send them to a Salvation army or another thrift store. Happy shopping.
--DB

Teach your children to change their clothes! The concept of "If it's good enough for school it's good enough for play" results in a lot of ruined clothing, and unnecessary laundry. Use 'experienced' clothing for play.
--George C.

(there's more at http://www.stretcher.com/stories/971113a.htm. Thanks to everyone for helping!)

I have two girls who seem to enjoy living in a cluttered environment. Here are a few ideas which have been helpful.
*Put away half of their toys. Switch them around every few months.
*Use boxes with labels on them, milk crates and storage bins to sort out toys and put them away.
*You can never have too many bookshelves. Use bricks/milk crates and boards or find them at garage sales.
*Use a timer and make it a game to see how much can be cleaned up in 5 minutes. Have a treat afterwards of reading a book to them or having a snack.
*Make a rule that there are no toys allowed in the kitchen and/or dining room. When you are feeling overwhelmed, you can retreat to that room and relax!!
*When someone is coming over, shovel the stuff on the counters off into a box. Throw the box into a cupboard. Sort it out at a later date while watching TV.
*Give the kids a clean-up roster and make it worthwhile!
*Have a garage sale and let the kids sell some of their toys, have a koolaid stand, sell cupcakes etc.
*Let your standards drop a bit. Kids will not remember how tidy the house was, they will remember how much love they received!! You will someday be on your own again and can have the sort of house you dream about!!!

cheers from Ruth in Victoria BC Canada

To M.L., the single parent trying to get necessary work done and yet find "quality time" to spend with 5 kids.

I was a single parent/foster parent for 12 years. The last couple of years of that, I discovered that the chores themselves can be converted to quality time.

DINNER: I assigned each kid one day a week to help me with dinner (and help determine the menu), another kid to help with cleanup after dinner. Not 2 or 3 kids, just one at a time. Though they complained when I first introduced this policy, they found we could spend that time teaching/learning new techniques in the kitchen, or visiting about what happened at school today (or work today for me), etc. It was in this setting that I was fortunate enough to have my 14-year-old ask me what's-really- wrong-with-smoking-anyway, and my 9-year-old share her feelings about being adopted. The important thing is, that 20 minutes or so is devoted especially to that one kid. I found that my kids were actually looking forward to their turn to help me, and didn't complain when the other children got to go out and play. In fact, the real challenge became keeping the other kids out when it wasn't their turn!

CLEANING: To a lesser extent, this quality time can also be used in house cleaning chores--that need not be a dreaded burden. Do it as a family project, and challenge the kids to see how fast we can get it all done together this time. First we'll tackle the living room together, then the bathroom. No one leaves the room till we're all done. Little ones do the picking up, bigger ones do the wiping down, take turns watching the baby.

HOMEWORK: To my surprise, my son and I seem to really value the time we spend working on his homework. Though it's often arduous and grueling work to get math through his head, we both kind of enjoy that individual time together.

LIFE: Finally, cut yourself some slack. Your home might not be a showplace like the folks next door. You may not serve gourmet meals. But spending time teaching your kids how to get along in life is at least as valuable as the so-called "quality time" spent taking them to amusement parks and restaurants.
--Norma L

(more suggestions can be found at http://www.stretcher.com/stories/971113b.htm Thanks for helping!)

Our family has a tablecloth that we use every Thanksgiving. It was a plain white cloth, but every year whoever eats Thanksgiving dinner signs their name and (if they want to) draws a picture using fabric paint. We have a very colorful cloth now. It's fun to see what everyone drew in the past years. I've done my son's handprints and last year drew an oven with a bun in it (I was pregnant).
--Barbara

Lackland AFB in San Antonio, TX for many years had a program called Project Home Cooked Meal, which offered to arrange local families to adopt Basic Trainees for Thanksgiving Day. We had the opportunity to host several young men and women. We would pick them up in the morning and take them back in the evening. They could enjoy the day watching football, playing with the kids and enjoy a good home cooked meal for what was probably their first thanksgiving away from home. It offered our kids to opportunity to have a big "family" dinner which would have otherwise couldn't because our family was in California. Everyone enjoyed the day and I got help with the dishes!!
--PP

Being from Canada, our Thanksgiving is celebrated in October. None-the-less, it is a celebration of thanks to God for the "bounty of the harvest". Year after year the celebration was exactly the same as a kid, so when I reached the ripe old age of 24 I determined to make Thanksgiving different - better than "tradition" ever had been or could be. This particular year I was living with some girls in the big city of Halifax. We had a broad circle of friends and companions - none of us had anyone special that year, but no one wanted to "go home for the holidays". Most of us were working, some were in University, and some were trying - rather successfully, to do both. However, most of our friends were "international students", or lived too far from home to go home. Thus, being the brain child that I was, I decided that "we" should have an "International Thanksgiving" celebration. The idea was wonderful, and was received by all with much enthusiasm. Each participant was to bring a "traditional" feast food of their homeland, and I would provide the turkey and dressing. When the grand day arrived, I cooked my first turkey with great success (and nausea over the handling of a dead bloody animal). Friends started arriving with grand and exotic dishes - I can't remember now what they were aside from candied carrots, steamed rice, and curried something. The food was wonderful, but the spirit of the participants was what made the day. Many of them had never celebrated Thanksgiving, and the contribution they made was by far the best and most memorable. It was this one Thanksgiving celebration that I remember every year at Thanksgiving. I developed a whole new appreciation for what being truly thankful was all about. If anyone considers Thanksgiving to be a ho-hum holiday, good for stuffing your face and watching football, I would suggest they go to a local university and talk with some of the International Students. Share the day and feast with someone who comes from a third world country, and learn what it is to be truly thankful for all God has so graciously given us. It changed my out look and my life for the better.
--DG

Last year, before our family and guests arrived, I cut paper into fortune cookie-size strips. When everyone arrived, I explained that we were going to something this year. (There was definitely some resistance to the thought of a new idea, but I was prepared for that.)

Each person was asked to take two strips and a pen from a basket. On one slip, they were to write one thing or person they were thankful for, and a wish for another person on the other slip.

I took the slips, went into the kitchen, and rolled them into crescent rolls. At dinner, everyone took the rolls, opened them carefully, and read the wish or thankful thought. They were able to read it aloud if they wanted (which everyone did). It was a great idea...and one that made everyone aware of all the wonderful things they have in life...and also to receive a "blessing" from another person.
--Ann R.

(this is only a few of the great memories that came in. Some may not save you time or money, but they will help remind us that it takes more than time and money to make an meaningful holiday. You can see more at: http://www.stretcher.com/stories/971113c.htm)

The cheapest form of meat is usually hamburger mince, and that's because it's got lots of very unhealthy saturated fat in it. However, you can remove that fat very easily and have a high quality meat which can be used in lots of ways.

Just mix with some water (about 1 part water, 3 parts mince) and boil. Actually it is best to bring the water to boiling first and then add the meat. Stir well while bringing the mix to the boil, and then reduce heat to keep it at a steaming simmer for say 30 minutes. Remove from heat and press down the mince to the bottom (with, say a potato-masher). As it cools, all the fat will congeal at the top. Once it is reasonably cool, put it in the fridge and let it chill overnight. The fat will form a hard white plate that can be lifted off and thrown away. What you have left is excellent cheap meat, that you can keep in the fridge and use a little at a time -- it's even great cold!

I pay only about a dollar a pound (I buy 4 pounds at a time). It should all be cooked as soon as you bring it home -- I use two medium saucepans. I think it's better without salt.
--Ian M.

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